That Really Hurt, Davey

The Phobias Workshop

{{Yes, this post originally appeared on Yet Another Period Drama Blog because I'm an idiot and have too many blogs on my dashboard.}} Okay, so this video is completely unrelated to the normal content we have on Sink Me!, but when my dad came across it earlier this week I thought it was too funny to pass up.

They're Two, They're Four, They're Six-Oh-One...

It all started with this picture I found on Pinterest.  My sister and I, who enjoy giggling over funny Pinterest pictures, then took it to the next level-- what if all the Les Mis characters (or at least as many as possible) were trains from Thomas the Tank Engine?  I present to you, therefore, the Engines on the Island of Paris.

First of all, Enjolras can't be Thomas.  Enjolras has to be James.  With his new red coat [of paint].

Thomas himself will be played by Marius.  With his blue coat.

This opens up the field for Cosette and Eponine as Annie and Clarabel, who follow Thomas-Marius wherever he goes.

Grantaire will be Henry, because he talks too much and has a green coat (the coincidences are freaky, people.  FREAKY.)

Valjean will be Edward, the elderly engine who is nice to everyone and is a bit old-fashioned.

Javert will be Gordon.  OBVIOUSLY.  I mean, Edward even rescues Gordon at one point.  Guys, this thing was MEANT TO BE.

Gavroche has to be Toby.  I don't know why.  He just does.

And, of course, Monsieur and Madame Thenardier are the Troublesome Trucks.  Do I even need to explain this one?

Oh, and Sir Topham Hatt has to be in there somewhere, so he can be Victor Hugo.

The End.

Les Mis Meets Dr. Seuss

This Is the Kind of Nonsense My Family Comes Up With on Bike Rides

(and we sing it as we ride.  loudly.)

Basically This is What They're Saying

Made by Anne-girl, Miss Dashwood and Alicia

He's Not Always Mr. Nice Guy

(my apologies to anyone who doesn't find this funny... it's mostly made for the benefit of Anne-girl, Margaret Hale and Marie.)

Shoot for the Moon

The Mr. Slightly-More Accurate Version of the Les Mis CD Insert

I'm sure many of you have seen the little picture floating around the Internet that shows someone's humorous interpretation of the song titles on the Les Mis movie soundtrack.  I got my share of giggles from the list (my favorites being "A Heart Full of Shut Up", "Grantaire Pick That Bottle Up" and "Now We All Cry and Feel Uplifted").  However, I felt some of the humor was a bit... um... indelicate (nothing too horrible, just not the best) and decided to make my own Alternate Song Title List.

So here we have the CSR in all its glory (that's the 1988 Complete Symphonic Recording for those of you who don't live and breathe every cast recording ever recorded--it's the only audio recording to date that includes every single lyric in the entire libretto) with my rewritten titles.  You can find the original track listing here if you get confused.  I've broken the thing down by discs instead of Act One and Act Two, so it will better correspond with the original list.

[Disc One]
1.  The Big Bum-BUM* [which includes Valjean Has No Friends / Oh Wait Now He Has One]
2.  I've Got a Golden Ticket (But I Don't Want It Any More**)
3.  Poverty, Social Injustice and Why You Shouldn't Read Other People's Mail
4.  If You're Dreaming, Of Course You're Dreaming a Dream
5.  (Just Skip This One)
6.  Javert Shows Up Again
7.  Life Before Emergency Brakes
8.  Valjean's Midlife Identity Crisis
9.  Hallucination, Tragic Death, and the Reappearance of the Only Cop in France
10.  Good Luck Memorizing the Lyrics On This One
11.  Little Cosette Has No Friends
12.  (Better Skip This One Too)
13.  It's Okay to Talk to Strangers If They Do Your Chores For You
14.  Gavroche Runs Paris and Don't You Forget It
15.  The Thenardiers Attempt to Mug Valjean / Police Guy Shows Up Once Again
16.  Javert Teaches Astronomy

[Disc Two]
1.  Eponine Gets Friendzoned
2.  Enjolras Teaches Primary Colors / Our Favorite Loser Finally Has a Girlfriend
3.  You Know This One Even If You've Never Seen Les Mis
4.  Valjean Doesn't Feel Like Teaching History Right Now
5.  I Have Just Met You, and I Love You
6.  Lea Salonga Screamed It Better
7.  The Cooler Version of "Tomorrow"
8.  Let's Build a Fort (No Girls Allowed, Eponine)
9.  The Anthem of Every Teenage Girl With an Unrequited Crush
10.  Hadley Fraser Sang it Better
11.  The 52-Year-Old Police Guy Is Now a College Student, Which Is Totally Not Suspicious
12.  Don't Make Fun of Short Kids
13.  Don't Make Fun of This Song
14.  If He Shoots You in the Back, You Won't Live to Tell It Either
15.  The Shooting Part, Part One
16.  No One Cares About Your Lonely Soul, Marius
17.  The Fastest Son-In-Law Acceptance Ever
18.  You Messed With the Wrong Barricade
19.  The Shooting Part, Part Two / People Who Aren't Crying Are Obviously Made of Stone
20.  Gunsmoke, Tragedy and Hanging Upside Down
21.  The Gross Dude Is Back Again
22.  [Bridge]***
23.  We Have to Give the Lovely Ladies a Decent Song at Some Point

[Disc Three]
1.  Marius Has No Friends (Anymore)
2.  I Know Everyone's Dead, But Let's Get Married Anyway
3.  Story Time with Papa-In-Law (Wait, I Don't Like This Story)
4.  Where Did All These Wedding Guests Come From?
5.  Everyone Who Died Is Alive Again (They're Alive, They're Alive, They Are So Alive)

How would you rename the Les Miserables songs?


* This expression was originated by my lovely friend Eowyn of Inklings Press and I'm using it without permission but I'm citing her as the original creator so here's hoping she won't sue me.
** To the tune of Defying Gravity
*** That was a pun.

[[The post title is a reference to a Fireflyer quote, for those of you who haven't read Peter Pan in Scarlet.  You should read it.  It's a good book. ]]

For Your Presence of Mind, For the Deed You Have Done...

Having not yet seen the movie, I don't know if the scene where Valjean rescues Enjolras from the sniper actually appears in the final version, but it's there in the play ("First Attack"), and I simply couldn't resist.

Marius! You're No Longer a Child!

Made by Caroline L.

You'll Only Get This If You've Read the Book

Unfortunately, I'm not offering an apology for the title of this post.  Go read the book.

You Are The One For Me...

Made by Payton of All Things Bright and Beautiful

{caption taken from this video}

Christmas is a Time of Joy and Wonder...

My family has recently become rather addicted to Bored Shorts' YouTube videos-- I'd highly recommend almost all of them! (And when I say almost all, I don't mean that any are inappropriate--just that some are not as funny as others.)  This video explores the true meaning of Christmas, as told by a group of children and acted out by their parents.

If You're Dreaming, Of Course You're Dreaming a *Dream*!

Thanks, Deryn Joy, for submitting this-- and from now on, whenever anyone asks how tall I am, my response shall be "Six three and a half" with the hand way up in the air.

North and South, LOLcats Edition

First of all-- I'm so sorry for the lapse in posts here. Hopefully the busyness I'm spinning in will settle down soon and I'll be able to post more regularly.  In the meantime, submissions are always welcome, especially when I'm suffering from caption's block.  HINT HINT.

Second, my sister Anne-girl recently introduced me to the LOLcat Translator, which basically puts any kind of normal English text into "LOLcats"-- butchered English of the "i can haz cheezburger" sort.  (Shudder.)  My friend Marie suggested that North and South might look rather funny in such language, and though my proper-grammar-loving soul is recoiling at what I'm about to do, I simply couldn't resist.  Here is a bit of North and South the way Mrs. Gaskell wrote it...

'Never, for your bidding!' exclaimed Mr. Thornton. And instantly the
storm broke. The hootings rose and filled the air,--but Margaret did not
hear them. Her eye was on the group of lads who had armed themselves
with their clogs some time before. She saw their gesture--she knew its
meaning,--she read their aim. Another moment, and Mr. Thornton might be
smitten down,--he whom she had urged and goaded to come to this perilous
place. She only thought how she could save him. She threw her arms
around him; she made her body into a shield from the fierce people
beyond. Still, with his arms folded, he shook her off.

'Go away,' said he, in his deep voice. 'This is no place for you.'

'It is!' said she. 'You did not see what I saw.' If she thought her sex
would be a protection,--if, with shrinking eyes she had turned away from
the terrible anger of these men, in any hope that ere she looked again
they would have paused and reflected, and slunk away, and vanished,--she
was wrong. Their reckless passion had carried them too far to stop--at
least had carried some of them too far; for it is always the savage
lads, with their love of cruel excitement, who head the riot--reckless
to what bloodshed it may lead. A clog whizzed through the air.
Margaret's fascinated eyes watched its progress; it missed its aim, and
she turned sick with affright, but changed not her position, only hid
her face on Mr. Thornton s arm.

...and here it is in LOLcats. :D


NEVR, 4 UR BIDDIN! EXCLAIMD MISTAH. THORNTON. AN INSTANTLY TEH
STORM BROKE. TEH HOOTINGS ROSE AN FILLD TEH AIR,--BUT MARGARET DID NOT
HEAR THEM. HER EYE WUZ ON TEH GROUP OV LADZ HOO HAD ARMD THEMSELVEZ
WIF THEIR CLOGS SUM TIEM BEFORE. SHE SAW THEIR GESCHUR--SHE KNEW ITZ
MEANIN,--SHE READ THEIR AIM. ANOTHR MOMENT, AN MISTAH. THORNTON MITE BE
SMITTEN DOWN,--HE WHOM SHE HAD URGD AN GOADD 2 COME 2 DIS PERILOUS
PLACE. SHE ONLY THOT HOW SHE CUD SAVE HIM. SHE THREW HER ARMS
AROUND HIM; SHE MADE HER BODY INTO SHIELD FRUM TEH FIERCE PEEPS
BEYOND. STILL, WIF HIS ARMS FOLDD, HE SHOOK HER OFF.

GO AWAY, SED HE, IN HIS DEEP VOICE. DIS AR TEH NO PLACE 4 U.

IT IZ! SED SHE. U DID NOT C WUT I SAW. IF SHE THOT HER SEKZ
WUD BE PROTECSHUN,--IF, WIF SHRINKIN EYEZ SHE HAD TURND AWAY FRUM
TEH TERRIBLE ANGR OV THEES DOODZ, IN ANY HOPE DAT ERE SHE LOOKD AGAIN
THEY WUD HAS PAUSD AN REFLECTD, AN SLUNK AWAY, AN VANISHD,--SHE
WUZ WRONG. THEIR RECKLES PASHUN HAD CARRID THEM 2 FAR 2 STOP--AT
LEAST HAD CARRID SUM OV THEM 2 FAR; 4 IT ALWAYS TEH SAVAGE
LADZ, WIF THEIR LUV OV CRUEL EXCITEMENT, HOO HEAD TEH RIOT--RECKLES
2 WUT BLOODSHD IT CUD LEAD. CLOG WHIZZD THRU TEH AIR.
MARGARETS FASCINATD EYEZ WATCHD ITZ PROGRES; IT MISD ITZ AIM, AN
SHE TURND SICK WIF AFFRIGHT, BUT CHANGD NOT HER POSISHUN, ONLY HID
HER FACE ON MISTAH. THORNTON S ARM.

I Realize This Won't Make Sense Unless You Know Who Voiced Pocahontas...

Capital Plan! Capital, Capital!

I Believe That May Have Been Us... Sowwee

Made by Eowyn of Inklings Press

Stick to Two Subjects: The Weather and Everyone's Health

Made by Miss Margaret of An Accomplished Young Lady